#FEARLESSFOUNDER Interviews

Confronting our Inner Saboteur

September 16th, 2014 | hellofearless

BY BETHANN MUISE COOMBS

 

A few weeks ago, after researching the concept that our thoughts become our reality, I became very aware of my own personal Inner Saboteur.  My Inner Saboteur is that crazy person in my head that shows up as my harshest critic.  She tells me that I’m not good enough, smart enough or even remotely capable of accomplishing whatever it is that I want to accomplish.

She is such a powerhouse that my Subconscious jumps onboard and is willing to do anything to help her win.  My Subconscious listens to every negative word Inner Saboteur says, believes it and then sets out to prove her right.

Then, as if I had been given a superpower, I began to clearly see the Inner Saboteur at work in those closest to me, like my family and my friends.  I became horrified by the critical things we tell ourselves!  I began pointing the devastating self-talk out to my kids and following that up with mini life-lessons on the destructive nature of what we tell ourselves.

It has almost become a compulsion of mine now and I literally have to cover my mouth with my hand to keep from telling complete strangers that “What you think about, you bring about!”

The thing is, we all have an Inner Saboteur.  All of us.  She shows up for different reasons and at different times, but her message is always the same.  She makes bold declarations about what we are or are not capable of and then waits for the glory at the end, when she is proven right.  Here’s an example:  My friend’s daughter has a math test at the end of the week.  “I’m terrible at math.”  She says and continues to complain for the rest of the week.  She admits that she glances at her work, but spends no real time studying because, of course, it is futile given that she is terrible at math.

Fast forward to the end of the week after the test is taken and the marks come in.  She passes, just barely and is less than impressed with her results.  “See?”  “I told you!”  she says.

 

Sometimes it is easier to reach for those familiar feelings of unworthiness rather than take responsibility for action or lack thereof.

 

You and I can see that her test results were a reflection of her lack in effort and had little to do with her abilities in math.  But helping my friend’s daughter make this connection was and still is difficult.  Our Inner Saboteur is that crazy voice inside our heads that wants us to get in our own way of success.

This sabotage can come in many different forms.  It’s the crazy voice, procrastination, stuffing away of our emotions and not dealing and even addictions.  We want something…..but our Subconscious believes the repetitive, negative chatter that says we are not worthy.

But wait!  There is hope!

We can strengthen the beliefs that are more in line with who we really are by what we think.  We can go to battle with our Inner Saboteur by consciously changing our thoughts and creating habits that our Subconscious will have no choice but to adopt.  Here are some Awesome Action Steps to fight back.

Awesome Action #1: Become aware of the self-sabotaging thoughts

Notice what you are thinking and when.  Negative self-talk is really resistance to something.  Resistance is all about limiting beliefs and those are different for everyone and typically come from your reactions of past experiences.

Awesome Action #2: Step back and reflect on the resistance

Ask yourself “what am I telling myself about this?”  Journaling is an excellent tool for getting clear about your feelings and uncovering limiting beliefs.  Often, when you get to the root of limiting beliefs, the sense of clarity alone can be freeing.

Awesome Action #3: Change your thoughts

If you’ve decided to take action, changing what you think about is a critical step.  This can be challenging because it is never just one, single time that you need to re-focus your thoughts.  Our Inner Saboteur will not go silently into the night and may even haul out a mega-phone to be heard.  This fight may mean handling negative self-talk moment to moment.

Confronting and beating our Inner Saboteur is as easy and as difficult as following these three Awesome Actions.  It’s encouraging to read about others who have had difficulty with their own self-sabotage and even more encouraging to read about the successes others have had.  If you have an experience to share, post in the comments below!  If you have a tool that you use and it will be a great addition to the Awesome Action steps above……SHARE!  Hope this serves you well!

Xo

Bethann


 

Bethann-Muise-Coombs >> Bethann believes that it’s never too late to discover your passions and create an inspiring life for yourself and those you love.  Her modus operandi is to lead by example, going after her dreams and wishes to help others do the same.  She lives in beautiful Prince Edward Island, Canada with her two teens, husband, and amazing dog Jack. Find out more about her here: http://livingtruthfully.webs.com/ 

 

 

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