#FEARLESSFOUNDER Interviews

How To Deal With Negative Feedback When We Are Going After Our Dreams

August 22nd, 2014 | Jennifer Ong

By Bethann Muise Coombs

 

There’s nothing quite like the amazing feeling of discovering your mission in life and creating a plan that will help you impact others in a positive way.  It’s exhilarating!

When you are following your dream and in the flow, ideas and new perspectives present themselves at every turn.  I know these feelings because I have been there.

Realizing how lit up I became when helping others uncover their blocks and take action in the direction of their dreams was life-changing for me.  I began my studies to become a coach, in between running a household, teaching elementary and being a mom.

The extra work didn’t bother me because I LOVED what I was learning and felt so strongly that I could make a difference in the lives of many by giving them unconditional understanding and support.  But I had fears.  Many, many fears about how my new endeavors would be accepted by the people in my circle.  I’ve spent hours thinking about ways to move beyond what others think of me and this is what I came up with.

In true bubble-bursting fashion, I have to point out a displeasing reality…

Inspiration’s sidekick is negative feedback.

 

Let me explain.  Finding your niche to serve others and contribute in a meaningful way will definitely lead to personal growth.  Personal growth, my friends, will not go over well with some family members, friends or even co-workers if you are keeping your day job as you build your enterprise on the side.

Why is this so?

It has much less to do with you than you’d expect.  Your inspiration to go after your dreams and build that business that lights you up, means personal growth.  Your personal growth means changes in your perspectives that reshape your world view.

Other people fear those changes and it’s as simple as that!

They fear what is different about you and what will be different as you rise to success.  They don’t welcome change because it forces them to shine a light on their own lives and wonder if they are living an inspired life as well.  It’s so much easier for them to make negative comments about what you are doing than to deal with their feelings.

Really understanding this concept is an important step in dealing effectively with negative feedback.  Judgemental, unsupportive comments are not about you and are a reflection of the other person’s insecurities.

Once you’ve got this down, there are 3 Awesome Actions you can take to decrease the frequency of receiving negative feedback.  These Actions will give you the tools to let negative comments roll off your back when hearing them is unavoidable.

Awesome Action #1: Become selective about who you share your business with.

Resist the urge to tell everyone and anyone what you are up to in the beginning.  Often, our own confidence to move forward is a bit shaky and by telling everyone about our business, we leave ourselves open to a lot of negative feedback from people whose opinions shouldn’t matter to us.

We don’t need to tell everyone because we are determined and focused on creating a business of our dreams whether others are on board or not.  Stop seeking approval from others and put all your attention on your mission to serve others and share your gifts.

Tell those closest to you what you are up to.  They love and support you in so many ways and this is just one more opportunity to show you that they have got your back!

Awesome Action #2: Command Respect

We know that our confidence grows when we are living truthfully and going after dreams we believe in.  Let that confidence shine through when we speak about our business!  Speak highly of your business and let those you are sharing with, feel how important this adventure is to you and how strongly you feel it will impact others.  People are attracted to that confidence.

Be assertive when telling others about your business and tell them what you want/need from them.  Be clear about whether you are looking for advice or simply sharing what is going on in your world.  “I’m excited about my new business and want to tell you all about it!”  “I’m not looking for any suggestions or opinions, but just really want to share my good news with you!”

Awesome Action #3: Find your tribe

This is critical to every entrepreneur’s success.  I’ll say it again…find your tribe!  Surround yourself with supportive, like-minded people who are doing what you are doing or who have already been successful in your area of business.

This is an exciting opportunity for you to make new friends and connect with others who will help you to bring your dreams to life.  Finding a tribe to “kick-it” with may mean changing some relationships and environments, but it is so very worth it!  Put yourself in places and around people who support what is important to you.  By spending time with others who value what you are doing, the negative comments issue will become less and less of an issue.

Final thoughts…

We are our own biggest critics and we must stop seeking out others who will confirm our negative thoughts and…

The more you believe in your work, your business, your creative talent and how it can be used to serve others to make the world a better place, the less you will care about what other people think.

Xox

Bethann

 

Bethann-Muise-Coombs >> Bethann believes that it’s never too late to discover your passions and create an inspiring life for yourself and those you love.  Her modus operandi is to lead by example, going after her dreams and wishes to help others do the same.  She lives in beautiful Prince Edward Island, Canada with her two teens, husband, and amazing dog Jack. Find out more about her here: http://livingtruthfully.webs.com/ 

 

 

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